Tag: joy

The Real Joy of Gift-Giving

by on Oct.18, 2009, under A Steward’s Journey

A little book that made a big impression on me was written in 1968 by Swiss psychiatrist Paul Tournier. In The Meaning of Gifts, Dr. Tournier made several observations, but one still stands out in my mind today. It’s this: The real joy in gift-giving isn’t found when the gift is given. It’s found when the gift is given back. I’m not talking about giving the actual gift back; the real joy of gift-giving is found in something much more significant than that. Here’s what I mean.

Last month our son Brent and his family went with Pam and me to the mountains for a getaway weekend. While we were walking through the resort shops his daughter, Meghan, saw a pair of boots that were made for her. With a birthday just a few weeks away Pam and I got them as our birthday gift for her. We were glad to do it, but when we learned what came next we experienced the real joy of gift-giving.

When it was time for Meghan to go back to school, she wore her boots. And the next day, and the next. Meghan and her boots became inseparable. She absolutely loved her gift, and in that enthusiastic acceptance of what we’d given to her she gave an even more valuable gift back to us – joy. Because the real joy of gift-giving is when our gift finds its mark. The real joy is seeing the gift enthusiastically accepted and used. You see, Meghan’s boots were not just given to be worn, they were given to be worn out.

Look at it from the opposite perspective. Where would our joy be if Meghan had taken her new boots home and put them in the closet? Never to be worn again? Where’s the joy in the un-used gift? There isn’t any. It’s replaced by disappointment. They didn’t like our gift,we think. What a disappointment. What a waste.

We know this instinctively even if we haven’t stopped to think about it. When we make something or buy a gift for someone we do it with the hope and expectation that it will be more than accepted, we desire that it be embraced. Not all gifts hit the mark, though; some fall flat. What was given in the expectation of joy is received in a disappointment that can’t be hidden by a gracious smile and thank you.

God is a gift-giver. Matthew says it this way: If you then … know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! (7:11). God delights in giving gifts to us. He made us, He gifted us, and He delights when those gifts are given back to him by being embraced, used, and worn out. Maybe there’s something that he’s given to you that’s still in the box tucked away in the corner of your closet. Maybe it’s time to get it out, dust it off, embrace it, and give Him joy. It’s worth considering.

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